WAR: Um . . .Good luck with that?

Some time ago before we pulled out of Iraq, I had an interesting email exchange with a friend of mine that works with children. It really got me thinking in the way that children make you think about things that you take for granted about life and how things work. Just thought I would share the exchange and my question of how one should react to an event that is so increadibly inhumane and yet such a mainstay in our international policy and dealings in the world. Can we get back to a simple child-like innocence where in the simple answer is that there shouldn't be any war? Oh I'm sorry I'll put down whatever it is that I'm smoking right now and get back to reality. Please forgive me for my momentary lapse. And of course the names of the children were changed for their protection.

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Friend: Today we made holiday cards for the soldiers in Iraq and these are what some kids wrote:

"Happy Holidays. I hope you don't die at war."

"Have a happy war. I hope you will have fun at war."

Of course these kids are rewriting...!!! oh and there were many "good luck" cards as well. Sigh.

Me: Lol!! That is so funny, yet sad, what the kids wrote. But you have to give them a break. I mean really, with war being such a dismal and inhumane phenomena why would kids, or anyone else for that matter, know what's appropriate to say about war? I mean really, the liberals say we hate war but don't hate the troops that are being trained to kill other people on command. The conservatives say we need more war training and preparation and we'll just have to sacrifice those lives because the bigger picture of war is more important than the individual lives that are sacrificed. I mean really, which one of these statements is really very appropriate anyway? I don't think the problem is with the kids, I think it's with the whole idea of war in the first place.

Friend: Yeah. It's true. I don't think many adults explain why people are fighting and what we are fighting for there in Iraq to kids anyways.

[Linda] wrote, "Dear people in Iraq , I am so sorry about what happened to your houses, .....and I am writing this for the soldiers who died at war..."

This says a lot. Who is going to write letters to the Iraqi people??? Seriously, I think [Elliot]

sincerely meant it when he wrote, "I hope you don't die at war."

It's just that it may sound insensitive (even if it's written by a kid) to a soldier who reads it.

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I feel this whole issue is rich with possibilities for learning and illuminating the social failures and lack that we have as a nation. A couple of questions that spin out for me from this exchange are:

How do insufficient explanations for the reason for war in our childhoods affect our response to war as adults?

Do any of us really understand the reasons we are given as to why war is truly necessary or are we just as clueless as children?

How powerful is peer pressure on children to fall in line in support of war?

How powerful is peer pressure on adults to fall in line in support of war?

Are there any good reasons to have a war or does the awkwardness of the children's "well wishes" speak to a deeper issue that there is really no reason to wish anyone involved in war well?

How have we as adults accepted the idea that fellow citizens should be signed-up, trained, and committed to an undying loyalty to systematically kill others?

If war is a necessary evil, how do you wish any evil phenomena well?

What are the ways that people address and cope with societal "necessary evils" such as war?

How did we get here . . . to a place where instead of saying "No" to war, it is a societal duty and responsibility to honor and support those who (no matter the reason) have been trained to kill and get killed in the line of duty?

How to we talk about and better cope as a society with the psychological and physical damage of troops and their loved ones that results from war?